Change is inevitable.
How it happens can be unpredictable.
Growing up, I was a major daddy’s girl. My dad was my favourite parent, I didn’t really try and hide it.
I didn’t dislike my mom, I just didn’t connect with her like I did with him.
My dad and I have lots of similarities, and while I may have been proud of them at a young age, they have since turned to scars.
Like Father, Like Daughter was created to help me understand the complex feelings and choices made by my father and me.
I have spent my life hyper analyzing specific pieces, never looking at the big picture. I have lived my life fearing what it would all amount to.
This project is my way to lay everything out together, to see the entire puzzle for what it is.
This is my way of finding control, and I hope to take you with me.
Add Digital Story above ^^^^^^^^^
March 11th, 2020 – 12 years old
“
That was when I started crying.
That dad topic lasted a while, the really big thing I took from that part of our talk was Sal saying I should write dad a letter…
I kinda like that idea, maybe I can email him.
My thoughts and feelings about him and everything that happened changed and morphed every day. I could miss him with everything I had, and then hate him like he did everything on purpose… The grief was blinding…
July 9th, 2021 – 13 years old
If you can believe it, that’s a real message I sent directly to my dad. That wasn’t even the whole thing either… Back then, all I wanted as our old routine back. I wanted my stupid, funny, idiot dad back… I didn’t want people to ask what happened if I just said I lived with mom.
July 26th, 2021 – 13 years old
It was exhilarating!
I had actually won against you! And I knew it!”
When it happens to you you’re welcome in advance.”
His responses to things would sometimes drive me mental… Me saying these things isn’t good, why would he enable it?! Why would he let me move forward with that mindset without trying to do anything at all?
November 26th, 2024 – 17 years old
“Started looking at grad caps on pinterest just cause and I keep seeing these Nemo ones with the young turtle going ‘Mom! Dad! Did you see what I did?’ And I just keep thinking of my dad. He wasn’t at Aidan’s grad, he isn’t going to be at mine. Dad isn’t gonna get to see me walk the stage. I won’t get to see him when I walk the stage. I don’t know why I’m so upset about that- it’s been like 6 years by now, but it hurts.”
He never said anything to mom, he never tried to say anything about us, his children, graduating. Did he ever even think about it? It always hurts thinking that, thinking that the answer is probably no.
References:
Bland, Becca. “The Living Loss: Family Estrangement & Stages of Grief.” Dr Becca Bland, Dr Becca Bland, 21 Oct. 2025, www.beccabland.com/post/the-living-loss-family-estrangement-stages-of-grief.
Bland, Becca. “The Stigma around Family Estrangement: Finding Validation in the Right Places.” Dr Becca Bland, Dr Becca Bland, 3 Apr. 2024, www.beccabland.com/post/the-stigma-around-family-estrangement-why-do-i-need-validation-from-others-and-society.
Lo, Imi. “Overcoming the Fear of Becoming Your Parents.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 16 May 2023, www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/living-with-emotional-intensity/202305/overcoming-the-fear-of-becoming-your-parents.
dr_j_raymond. “Fear of Becoming like Your Parents Makes You Act Just like Them.” LA Westside Therapy, 10 Dec. 2018, losangeleswestsidetherapy.com/fear-of-becoming-like-your-parents-that-you-act-just-like-them/.